Eat Your Veggies

I spent this Memorial Day weekend at my aunt and uncle’s house in upstate New York. Lots of family, small house, one bathroom, lots of laughs, and lots of reading. I’ll write about the reading later.

I love my extended family, but they think I’m some strange hippie child and they don’t really know what to say to me. For the past 10 years or so they have all convinced themselves that I am a vegetarian. I am not a vegetarian, I have never been a vegetarian, and never wanted to be a vegetarian. But I don’t like red meat, so to my carnivorous family, this automatically makes me a vegetarian freak-child. Every time we go to my aunt and uncle’s, my aunt makes sure she goes out of her way to buy me an appropriate meat substitute for our barbecue dinners. “Don’t worry, Tree-Tree! I got you veggie burgers for the grill,” she yells at me with such enthusiasm that I don’t have a heart to tell her I would be just fine with chicken. So we sit down to dinner, I eat a nice juicy piece of grilled chicken and choke down at least half of the gross patty of squashed unidentifiable veggies, and everyone is happy.

Here’s a scene that happened this weekend. I’m in the kitchen making a turkey sandwich for lunch. My cousin, he’s about 8 years older than me, comes over to me.

Him: Theresa! I just saw the perfect bumper sticker for you.

Me, stacking pieces of turkey on my sandwich: Oh yeah, what did say?

Him: “Veg-et-ar-rian = Indian word meaning poor hunter”

Me, thinking that’s a terrible bumper sticker: Oh

Him, looking down at my turkey sandwich, then up to me, gets confused: Wait! You’re eating turkey! I thought you were a vegetarian?

Me: No, I’m actually not a vegetarian.

[Pause]

Him: Wow, you’re not as weird as I thought.

Me: Thanks.

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One Response to “Eat Your Veggies”

  1. Ada Says:

    hahahaha. love the dialogue and ignorance of extended family. My friend Michelle just asked me the other day “you eat meat now, right?” and I said to her “I have been eating meat for 7 years now. Try and keep up.”

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