Annual 9/11 Post

It is known to the few readers of this blog that I write a post on every 9/11 anniversary.  

But this year, for the briefest of moments, I actually forgot that 9/11 was something more than just today’s date.  In years past, this date would loom over my head with such dread, like a big black rain cloud in the distance.  It would start the first day of September – anxiety, incredible sadness, feeling like the event just happened, nervousness, wishing to stay in bed under the covers until September 12th.  But this year?  I forgot.  I actually forgot it was 9/11, “the” 9/11.  

I guess it speaks to all the changes that have happened to me lately.  In last year’s 9/11 post I wrote about wanting distance from the event, both physically and mentally.  And now I have it.  Six hundred miles worth of distance from 9/11, from my family, from my city, and from my job that forced me to deal with 9/11 every day.  Today has been so blissfully normal in Ann Arbor.  There’s a Notre Dame football game tomorrow, that seems like a big deal.  Justice John Roberts is in town this weekend giving a lecture at the law school.  I just got back from my first day at my work study job – organizing the bird library at the University’s Museum of Natural History.  All normal things.  No 9/11 – related things.  I cannot even express how amazing that feels.  Like a weight has been lifted.  My mind feels liberated. 

I’m trying to move on from 9/11, to give myself the opportunity to do something else with my life besides deal with the health repercussions of this event that almost destroyed my family and my home.   I was listening to NPR while at the bird library, and they had some stories about 9/11, and I felt fine listening to them, not all stressed out.  The local public radio station here had an interview with a U of Michigan professor who is teaching the first college course specifically on 9/11 and the nation’s collective memory of the event – which was actually really interesting.  It was great to listen to these things on 9/11, and to think about 9/11, and then have the ability to just move on with my day.

That’s not to say I don’t miss my home, because I do – a lot.  Or that I don’t honor or remember 9/11, because I do so in my own ways.  My parents sent out family-wide emails and text messages last night, just letting us know that they love us.  That’s all the remembrance I need for now.

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