Struggles

I signed up for NaBloPoMo.  I’ve never done it before and always admired those that did.  We’ll see how it works out.  I really don’t need another thing to distract me from my schoolwork, but, what the hell.

I have been in grad school for a little over two months, and have been struggling with the following things:

  • keeping up my blog!  I don’t have time to read for pleasure anymore, so I’m hoping NaBloPoMo will help me kick-start my neglected blog
  • fitting in with my classmates/mid-westerners.  I’m realizing that people from the midwest (or at least just in Michigan) are very uptight.  What’s up with that?
  • making new friends.  I was never good at this.  It does not getting any easier as you get older.
  • how to deal with missing home/nyc.  I’m trying not be the person who’s always like “well in nyc we do this” or “in nyc we have this” or “in nyc its like this” because that gets real annoying.  It’s just that I miss home a lot.  I miss the people, the culture, the city, the energy, the diversity, the craziness, the buildings, the traffic, the subway, everything.
  • being apart from my boyfriend M.  This has been hard.  Really hard.
  • taking exams and studying for exams.  I went to this neat hippy college that didn’t have tests or grades and I loved it.  Now I’m in a more traditional university with tests and grades and it has been a rough transition.  Getting a low grade on a test makes me feel stupid and makes my confidence sink way down.  Not being a good test taker also makes me feel stupid.  It makes me feel like I’m not smart enough to be in this program.  But I am dammit!  Just let me write a paper on everything I learned and I’ll show you I’m smart.  But exams?  They just make me feel stupid.
  • taking my schoolwork seriously.  I worked for my local health department for 3 years in between college and grad school, and that job completely destroyed my work ethic.  Deadlines were meaningless, the work was simple, it took very little impress the bosses.  I could waste time on the internet all day and then finish all my work in the last 10 minutes of the day, and my bosses loved me.  But wasting time on the internet all day and spending 10 minutes on homework/reading assignments?  Big. Fail.  I cannot do this anymore and I’m still struggling with getting back into a good work ethic.

Here we go, NaBloPoMo

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One Response to “Struggles”

  1. Rob Lenihan Says:

    I never heard of this NaBloPoMo, which is quite a mouthful. I’ve been lax lately on my blog, too, so maybe I’ll check it out. I don’t blame you for missing New York and I’m not surprised to hear about uptight midwesterners. Getting back into a good work ethic is an important goal and I’m sure you can achieve it.

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