It’s a cold, rainy, dreary day in Michigan. Since things between M and I have fallen apart, any sadness I experience feels 100 times worse than usual. Today included.
Time for reflection, as I do every day this year. I am disgusted with 9/11 right now. It’s bad enough to have lives destroyed and families torn apart and people getting sick because of 9/11, but for the event to be used as an excuse for rampant and blatant Islamophobia in this county is NOT OK. What happened was bad, and it doesn’t make it any better by hatred and ignorance. I’m typically really good at emphasizing with two sides of argument; but in cases of the “ground zero” mosque and Koran book burning crazies, I really cannot see where they are coming from. I just resign to the fact that some people are just seriously fucking nuts. And what really pisses me off is the idea that the “9/11 families” are some kind of official spokesgroup of all things related to 9/11. Um, no. I understand the hurt that these people are experiencing, but many many different people lost their lives that day and just because some people band together to voice their opinions very loudly does mean they speak for everyone who died and everyone related to the event.
I used to work a block away from the proposed “ground zero” mosque before I left to go back to school. I used to walk past that building every single day; its an abandoned, dirty, neglected old building with the Burlington Coat Factory sign still hanging from the facade. Its been empty for as long as I worked there, at least 4 years. I would love to see that old skeleton of a building be restored and used for something meaningful, such as place of religion, community center, whatever. What is the big fucking deal?
It is strange to me that the people around me in Michigan don’t really know what this day means to me. It is a hard subject to bring up in casual conversations with roommates as we are passing in the kitchen. How could they understand anyway? But I want to tell people; I want them to know how much today sucks for me and how weird it is for me they are out making dinner and drinking plans for tonight and I’m sitting in my room blasting some Bruce Springsteen and lighting some candles.
I still cannot fathom how much that one single day has defined the course of the rest of my life and my family, particularly my parents. I hate that feeling. I know that 9/11 represented a loss of innocence for many people of my generation, myself included. My life, in every single aspect, will never, ever be like it used to be.